The Way I Loved You
by LovingKF
Summary: "You're so in love that you acted insane and that's the way i loved you"


**The Way I Love You**

**I do not own the characters those belong to Ally Carter. As for the song lyrics (they're in bold italic) they belong to Taylor Swift. Enjoy!**

_**He is sensible and so incredible  
And all my single friends are jealous  
He says everything I need to hear and it's like  
I couldn't ask for anything better  
**_

"Aw Cammie you're so lucky to date a guy like Josh" Liz gushes on about my boyfriend.

I smile knowing it's probably true. Josh is a big sweetheart.

"Honestly Cam I'm jealous he buys you flowers and all that stuff. I mean I would prefer a boyfriend who's a good sparring partner but yours is definitely a keeper" Leave it to Bex to drop in a comment like that.

"They're right you know. It's not everyday a girl finds a guy who listens & cares about you that much" Macy says very matter of factly.

"I know guys" And I really do. He's a perfect package. Cute, smart, and caring. I'd have to be crazy to think there was anything better.

_**He opens up my door and I get into his car  
And he says you look beautiful tonight  
And I feel perfectly fine**_

I walk outside to his car and he opens the door for me.

"You look beautiful tonight you know" he says.

I blush "thank you." I say " You don't look so bad yourself"

"it's a gift" he says

I laugh and get in his car. Yup a girl could get used to a guy like him.

_**But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain**_  
_**And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name**_  
_**You're so in love that you act insane**_  
_**And that's the way I loved you**_

You know how I said I'd have to be crazy to think there was anything better? I guess I am crazy. I miss screaming at Zach. I miss the constant fighting. I miss being so angry that I would stay up calling him every damn inappropriate name I could think of. In every language I could think of. I miss the way he seemed to love me so much he acted insane.

_**Breakin' down and coming undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you  
**_

Our relationship was like a roller coaster ride . So fast that before you knew it, it's over. The rush I got from being with Zach made me wonder how it was possible to love somebody so much you practically hated it.

_**He respects my space  
And never makes me wait  
And he calls exactly when he says he will  
**_

"Is it okay if I call at around 8?" Josh asks as he drops me off.

"that's fine. I really had a great time today. Sorry we had to cut our date short. "i say.

"Don't worry about it. I know your friends are sleeping over" I'm happy that he gives me space whenever I need it.

Josh kisses me before I go inside. At exactly 8 he calls me. He never makes me wait for his call.

_**He's close to my mother  
Talks business with my father  
He's charming and endearing  
And I'm comfortable**_

"Good afternoon ."

"Josh I've told you to call me by my first name." my mother replies going in to give Josh a hug.

"Right, sorry Mrs-uh I mean Rachel"My mother smiles and indicates that my father is in the living room. "Good afternoon " Josh greets my father. "Nice to see you again Josh. Would you like to join us for dinner?" My father is fond of Josh. Seriously I don't think he's found any one other than his business buddies and josh who knows and cares as much as him.

_**But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain**_  
_**And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name**_  
_**You're so in love that you act insane**_  
_**And that's the way I loved you**_  
_**Breakin' down and coming undone**_  
_**It's a roller coaster kinda rush**_  
_**And I never knew I could feel that much**_  
_**And that's the way I loved you**_

As much as I like Josh I loved Zach. Maybe my relationship with Josh is more comfortable, but I can't deny I miss Zach and the way we practically hated each other because we loved each other so much. Did that make sense? I think I am crazy.**_  
_**

**_He can't see the smile I'm faking  
And my heart's not breaking  
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all  
_**

Months have passed. By now I should be even more in love with Josh, right? Then why do I find myself faking nearly every smile I give him. Should I feel bad about the fact that he can't tell? I don't feel heartbroken that's for sure. The thing is I'm not feeing anything...at all. I don't get butterflies around Josh. I don't get excited to see him or happy that he came to see me even when I was sick. I just don't feel anything.

_**And you were wild and crazy  
Just so frustrating intoxicating  
Complicated, got away by some mistake and now  
I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
It's 2am and I'm cursing your name  
I'm so in love that I acted insane  
And that's the way I loved you  
Breaking down and coming undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you oh, oh**_

_**And that's the way I loved you oh, oh  
Never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you  
**_

Zach was wild, crazy everything that would send a clear message _"he's trouble". _He got me so frustrated. I could never completely figure him out. I still can't. All I knew then and know now is that I loved (and still love) him more than I thought was humanly possible. So much that I acted insane when I was with him. I'm not sure how or why I let him go, but I'm sure that it was a mistake. Maybe we don't belong together, maybe we do. I guess i'll just have to find out. _**  
**_


End file.
